Wednesday, May 25, 2011

Wow. *wipes tear*

Wow.

*Sigh*
*voice cracks*

This. This award means so much to me. Really. The last time I won anything, it was a consolation prize for a drawing competition in my building. And I was 13, did I mention that?

*insert fake raucous laughter*

Infact, I am quite used to not winning now. I have had my share of participation certificates though. So I'd like to say a very heartfelt Thankyou to Meher from Translucid Graffiti for this virtual proof of my awesome-ness.

Jokes apart, thanks man!
I mean the part about all the competitions, despite the fake melodrama surrounding it.
And congratulations on completing a 100 posts!
*insert fake raucous laughter*
*Show clipping of a standing ovation stolen from The Ellen DeGeneres Show.*

You have made me and Sheep very happy. We are currently floating with so much happy buzz.
 Colourful balloons et all. 



Saturday, May 21, 2011

Unchartered waters.

In economics, you are taught a certain phenomenon that occurs called the 'Cycle of Poverty'.
They teach you that every factor leads to another and continues, reinforcing the next step.
A very spirit crushing chapter of life, I must say.

I've never been poor and my family is far from tugging at the Poverty line. 
Today I came across, what modern economists may refer to as, the Cycle of middle class.
There is a fine line of compromise that we must not cross so as to remain within this cycle.
The Cycle of Indian Middle Class is the blackhole sucking the money out of people's pockets and injecting it directly into the economy. Credit creation increases, oh yes and the rich just get richer. Meanwhile, the middle class remain the middle class, despite investing in a loan.
The very fact remains that no one really makes it out of this circle unless exempted from tax for a few years or handed a suitcase full of cash, two things most unlikely to happen in a country like ours.

Any man who begins with a moderate salary, goes only uptil a certain increase in his real income. As he grows older, he wishes to settle down, buy a car, a house. Which is why he takes up loans, compromises on his monthly expenditure so as to pay off all his EMIs. And yet, after spending all that money what he gets is a small house, small garage, bad bathroom fittings and no security.
He remains a small man, only this time, he has a small house.
As the years pass, his children need more space and before all loans are cleared off, the time arrives for another big investment. 
He pools in all the family money for maybe just an increase in the number of rooms; buy an apartment from a trusted builder. The cycle of EMIs begin again.
This time, he becomes a small man with a small house but many bedrooms.
Meanwhile prices rise and so do the needs of the family. The public sector companies, haraamis that they are maintain the same salary. 
The new Government refuses to pool in the money they had promised to these public sector companies and uses them instead, for the upcoming elections.
The middle class remains in it's cycle, compromising every single fucking day just to feed the Government, the upper classes and the real estate tycoons of this country.
These are the people who unfortunately, fall under the highest tax brackets which minimizes their real income to a trivial number. The government that claims to work for the 'common man' has infact never worked for it's benefit. Every day, new strategies are developed to mobilize the rural population of the country, and none for this so called middle class.
The media too is paid by the government.
It is pure economic exploitation.


This cycle is as vicious  the cycle of poverty, for there is no way out of it.
Any man who starts middle class, remains middle class and dies middle class. And to all those fools who have been brainwashed by articles written by writers such as Pawan Verma, talking about how the middle class has developed a 'consumerist streak', you are invited to my Middle Class household anytime of the year and see for yourself how mistaken you have been.
It is the first time in months that I feel utterly hopeless for my family and this country.
As an Indian, I feel ashamed.

Thursday, May 19, 2011

Tension hai yaar.

These days what keeps me awake at night are nightmares about the future.
I know, I gave up on ambition too easily a few months ago but I guess all this worrying about getting a job has been brought back by numerous facebook feeds telling me how everyone except me is busy doing something substantial, like an internship, jobs or even vacation courses.

I just sit around drawing and drinking cold coffee. Meet Jo once in a while. Talk to her about how we might end up like those Bollywood twins who were separated at birth, one of whom becomes a crook and the other a police officer. Likewise she may become the most sought after graphic designer in the country while I continue to draw portraits of people sitting on the footsteps of Dadar railway station, making hardly enough to buy stationary from Gangar stores.
Why do so many people exist in this world?
Why must we reproduce and create more people so that there is a pool of talent created leading to an invisible hierarchy in society along with competition so much that 'Survival of the fittest' has been universally acclaimed to be the determining law of evolution?

WHY DARWIN WHY OH WHY MUST THE FITTEST AND THE STRONGEST AND THE TALLEST SURVIVE?


Wednesday, May 11, 2011

"Babuji?"

*father turns head slightly*
*Nods*
*looks up at poster of Santoshi Maa*

"Kya lene aaye ho ab?"

"Babuji."
*voice breaks*
"Main...main aa gaya hu. Permanently."

*Focus on feet*
*View of dried leaves rustling outside*
*Slightly overbearing Cyan tones*

"Iss khandaan me tumhaare liye jagah nahi hai! Jab tumhaari maa sadme me chali gayi thi, tab tum kaha the?"

*Son looks on with shock*
*folds his hands*
*One tear rolls down*

"But.. Babuji..Amrika se VISA nahi mil rahi thi Babuji. "
*gulps*

"SHADAAAAAAP"
*LOUD DRUM ROLL*
*Son looks fearful*

*Father looks at poster*
*Keeps nodding*

"Meri hi galti hai. Pichle janam me maine hi kuch paap kiya hoga ki, Thakurji ne mujhe tumhaare jaisa nalayak beta diya. Saare maryaadayo ko bhoolke, saare bandhano ko bhoolke tum chale gaye Pardes! HOW D-A-R-E (*spits*) YOU!"

*Insert red fire inside eyes using Adobe AfterEffects*
*Dried leaves rustle more*
*Sound of wind blowing fills up awkward silence*

*Son takes a step back, hands still folded*
*Turns his back to walk off*
*Realisation-waale-eyes*
*Turns around again*


"Babuji. Main samajh sakta hoon ki aapka pyaar aur lad paane ke liye mere pass kuch nahi hai.
Magar EK baat yaad rakhiye, MERE paison ke bina
apki Pillbury waali roti *drums*,
aapke Gucci suits *drums*
aur aapka Beach house *drums*

kuch..nahi...rahega."

*Religious music*
*Dhoom tanananana dhoom tanannana dhoom tananannana*
*Angled shots of baffled father*
*Insert few shots of Santoshi Ma grinning in the middle*


*Son gives out slight laugh*
*Tears glint in his eyes*


"Aur Babuji, aapke Jacuzzi ke bill ke baare me toh socha hi nahi. Tch Tch Tch."

*Dhoom Tanana merging with evil laughter*
*Fades*
*Screen goes blank*

*meager voice*
"Beta?"



Dil Pe Chot Lagi Hai Yaara aka DPCLHY.
Coming soon.

PS: My ex-Hindi teacher decided to drop in for some chaai. I guess this is just an after-effect.

Sunday, May 8, 2011

Happy photos to follow.

Sometimes I write sad posts and upon reading them the next day, realize how immature they sound and delete them hoping no one important has read them already.
I want to keep this section happy.


Thursday, May 5, 2011

Sethupo to you too.

Depressing title but hey, only in South India.
In recent news, I have been feeling very happy and useless. To compensate for my lack of sleep this semester, I have been waking up mid-afternoon, mouth-open-with-a-pool-of-saliva-on-the-pillow for the past few days.
Also the Bombay weather with it's humidity and dirt makes my hair stand despite shampooing it every two days.
Which means I can make a Mohawk anytime I want, now.

I met Jo yesterday and we sat on bean bags discussing certain art school specimens. And then, because we hadn't planned anything we decided to surprise Ray (two days before her math exam) and distract her from studies. We did well.
AND THEN WE WENT TO JUHU BEACH WHICH IS SO CLEAN NOW OMG. AND WE SAT ON THE WHITE SAND AND KEPT OUR LEGS ON THE BROWN SAND AND WE BURIED A CHILLY AND WE EVEN SAW FACES IN THE CLOUDS AND WATCHED THE SUNSET WHICH WAS SLIGHTLY WEIRD BECAUSE THE SUN LOOKED SO MUCH BIGGER YESTERDAY.

And IF TED WAS OUR FRIEND HE WOULD SAY "KIDS, LIFE TEACHES YOU MANY LESSONS. BUT IF AUNT JO HAD TO TEACH YOU THAT IN ONE LINE, SHE WOULD SAY THAT THE SUN LOOKS BIGGER ON THE DAYS YOU ARE HAPPY. SETHUPO.

And that's all folks.

Tuesday, May 3, 2011

I need to travel.

To sit in a bus with broken, rusted seats next to the window.
To feel a tad bit un-easy with all the women rubbing their massive handbags against my ears, unintentionally.




But for now, sitting at home in front of the AC in the humid Bombay heat, I'm doing just fine.