the week that was.

a lot has happened over the past one and a half weeks.
a lot.
not all of it was awesome.
but somewhere down the line it helped me see things for the way they are.
and ultimately i found something i never knew existed.


i found strength.

people close to me will tell you that i am, more often than not controlled by my emotions.
yes.i cry often.more than the usual often.

even for the smallest of things.
like the one time ponu told me that i 'spoke like a man.'
i don't even know what he meant by that.
i cried for THAT.

so many things happened this week,im surprised i didn't shed a single tear.
not one.
and i do not feel bottled up.
did i know somehow that it was coming?
was i ready for it?
was that the reason i didn't cry?
or was it because i was too angry to do so?

this week i figured that the reason i did not cry was because i didn't want to.
because i was strong enough to go through it without breaking down.
when i told ray about the 'things' that happened,there was a moments pause.

"adrita,are you crying?"

"no."

"you know,if i were you i would cry."

"but i don't feel like crying."

i didn't.

and for some reason,that made me feel incredibly grown up.
of all the adjectives people have used to describe me,no one has EVER used the word 'strong'.
but i know now.
i didn't even cry when i saw my physics marks.
>_>

also.
i have been spending a lot of 'alone' time.
not even ness knows about it.
but everyday after returning back from tuitions,i don't go home straight away.
last week i sat next to the swimming pool for half an hour.
i played 'stairway to heaven' seven times before heading back home.
it has become my favorite place in the world.
with all the little lamps.
and all the water.
just me,the water and the music.:)
and sometimes the moon.
try it sometime.


and day before yesterday i headed towards the park behind serien's house.
the quiet one.
the one that no one visits.
i called up jo and ray.
and we spoke a lot.
i played 'i'm yours' seven times.


i sat there until they turned off the lamp lights.
i needed that time alone.
someone recently told me that there is a kind of weird space in my head where no one is allowed to enter.
i see what he meant,now.


the week that was, wasn't entirely bad.
i went to janupada,the slums near my house to click pictures for the photography contest.
soul searching.
i told them i was rupa didi from HT.
the slum kids posed.
even their mothers.
and they danced a lot too.

here are the final entries that i sent.





^somehow,his eyes and her radiant smile was what got me hooked onto this photograph.






^
this was their hrithik roshan pose.
they all seemed so unbelievely happy.


in all.
i realised that sometimes i just need to listen to what i say.
for the contest we had to give the picture a caption,
and it struck me just now about how relevant it was to my week.
the week that was.
and i was the one who wrote the caption.
hilarious.

"sometimes when you reach the end of the dark tunnel,you realise that the light that led you through it was indeed your radiant smile."